At the core of my soul, I hated myself more than anybody or anything. I came to believe that everything that happened to me or around me was my own fault because I had let it go on for so long. I wanted what others had, but saw no way to get it, so I hated them for having it. I wanted to be strong, but inside I knew I was a wimp. I never had the courage to stand up to The Bitch, so I knew I deserved whatever happened to me. For years, Mother had brainwashed me by having me shout aloud, “I hate myself. I hate myself.” Her efforts paid off. A few weeks before I started the fifth grade, I hated myself so much that I wished I were dead.

Dave Pelzer, A Child Called 'It', loc. 266