This is an inner act that eludes rendition or datafication as we begin to compose an inward sense of valid truth and moral authority. This is the reference point from which we can say, "I think," "I feel," "I believe." Gradually, this "I" learns to feel authorship and ownership of its experiences. It can reflect on itself, know itself, and regulate itself with intentional choices and purposive action. Research shows that these big leaps in self-construction are stimulated by experiences such as structured reflection, conflict, dissonance, crisis, and failure. The people who help trigger this new inward connection refuse to act as our mirrors. They reject fusion in favor of genuine reciprocity. "Who comes into a person's life," Kegan observes, "may be the single greatest factor to influence what that life becomes."

Shoshana Zuboff, The Age of Surveillance Cap…, loc. 1447